It’s Okay Not to be Okay: A Reminder for (She)roes

Tanisha Markland was born and raised in Westchester County, New…

Hey Honey,

Quite often we force things to be okay when they are really not. There are different points in life where we must accept things for what they are. We can’t control everything, and we can’t put that pressure on ourselves to do so. As Black women, we are known and expected to be “strong.” Is that why so many of us feel obliged to be the sponge that soaks up all the problems, and the rock that keeps everything grounded? It’s not fair to yourself, it’s not fair to your loved ones and it’s not beneficial to your health. So how do we fix it?

I say do not get wrapped up in the idea of “don’t get comfortable” as if being comfortable is always a bad thing. I say take those moments and get comfortable with the fact that you are uncomfortable. When you allow this to happen, you are able to analyze the situation better, accept the things that lead to the discomfort and address it with your head on straight.

In life there are transition periods where you are prone to vulnerability. Use that vulnerability to build strength. Strength is vulnerability with the right amount of exposure.

Honey, we have the resources we need to get us through some of the toughest times. When things are not okay, it’s okay to seek the counsel, mentorship and emotional support needed. Instead of trying to complete the impossible tasks, take on the task of self- preservation. The self-preservation will keep you from self-destruction due to stressors in life. I cannot remember a year where I did not lose something that made things “not okay.” It may have been a loss of a loved one, financial loss, weight loss, and I even remember when I felt like I was losing sight of who I am as a woman. Preserve your strength for the things you can control, like yourself and your mindset. It’s imperative to your joy and your success.

Mary J. Blige said, “There’s so many things that life is, and no matter how many breakthroughs, trials will exist and we’re going to get through it. Just be strong.” I receive this, not only because she is my favorite female artist but because it’s true. Honey, take that strength, allocate appropriately, and know that it’s okay not to be okay and it only lasts for a moment!

It’s okay not to be okay. It is not okay to stay that way.

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Tanisha Marklalnd

Tanisha Markland was born and raised in Westchester County, New York. She received multiple degrees throughout her years of education and views her degree in Childhood education as the most valuable because it aligns with her purpose. She is a Dual- Certified Educator. She is certified in Elementary School Education and Early Childhood Special Education. Her entrepreneurial journey has taken her beyond the classroom environment generating multiple streams of income and coaching others through some of the processes she has taken. She is the Founder of the I am Influential Brand. This brand consists of a travel agency that specializes in multi-generational travel and a non-profit organization for children ages 8-18. She’s inspired by the children in this world and deliberate about being a lifelong learner. Her life’s work is to educate those around her by being an example, providing opportunities and the space to explore life.